I was talking to a number of my female friends recently and there is a common thread in the way they talk about relationships, man and their expectations - its caution. It seems that in our age (mid twenties) we get hit with cultural expectations of finishing college, starting to work and becoming a wife and a mother. Our own expectations of having a career of our dreams, staying good looking and skinny, to continue to have careless fun as we did during college all while transitioning in the grown ups world where we are responsible for our actions and the consequences of them. While we were growing up our mothers have read us stories about often poor women being saved from evil and troubles by a handsome young rich man on a white horse who liked her because she is so young and pretty with a rosy cheeks, cooking, cleaning but being bullied by a jealous women, step sisters or an evil witch. Seriously??? How do we expect young man and women to be prepared for a real life, heartbreak and disappointments when we are programming young women from an early age that the only way to live happily ever after is to marry a rich man and have no ambition, and putting a pressure on young boys that the only way for them to marry a good looking and kind women is to earn/inherit a lot of money and save her from all the evils. Let’s be real.
Why don't they make children books to teach kids to respect people and treat them equally no matter how rich they are, what’s their religion or color of their skin. Create Barbie who is a single mother, successful business women and has children or Ken who is gay, black or a Muslim???
Why don't we teach the kids not to bully others in school because they are poor, fat or have a lisp??? Being programmed with all the fairytales and protected from the reality in young age did us no good. Today when lies and cheating in relationship and marriage is more of a rule that exception it is crucial that we are prepared. Men in mid twenties often crack under pressure and lack the maturity and women seem to get so disappointed by numerous heartbreaks that they start acting like men do or on the other hand they overwhelm a man with care and attention so much that they dedicate all their time to the relationship only - which results in a pressure for a man who looks for his way out, scared of commitment and of not fulfilling her expectations.Most of my girlfriends are in the phase I mentioned first - we act like man do now, maintaining a superficial relationship, dropping them before it becomes too serious in a fear of a heartbreak.
Their must be a better way...more balanced middle...or are we still just kissing frogs and our prince is yet to come?
Xoxo,
Kat
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